Oh well… perhaps you think I have gone cucu in my head for suggesting anyone let themselves fall into this pit of despair. Perhaps you think I am an emotional sadist of the saddest order but I can assure you this, I have the first-hand experience and I can tell you that eventually, something happens to every single person who loves someone who does not love them back.
What is it you ask?
Well… if you must know – They manage to stop being in love!
Did I spark the curiosity yet? Let’s continue…
In light of the recent events that I have been going through, it occurred to me just the other day that there are people in this world who do not know what unrequited love is. They have never fallen for someone who did not love them back. Talk about inviting drama. I am all for it but hey… it’s for a good reason. If you are going through what I am then you will come out strong. I promise you that. Continue reading…
I feel its really rare, rarer than solar eclipse that some people actually manage to marry their first love, high school sweetheart, who got it right on the first shot, you were born with the confidence to walk right up and ask for a date and got a positive answer.
I am always inclined to murder a couple like that. Well, I guess grapes are sour for me. Its the bitterness talking but nevermind.
But what I also think is that these couples are missing out. Everyone should fall in love with someone who does not love them back at least once in their lifetime.
Now let’s first talk about – where to find such people?
They can be found anywhere. Like someone you know for a long time and have been crushing on him. He could be the boyfriend of someone you know or the ex-boyfriend of a friend. He is so in love that he can’t see more than five inches past the face of his new love, let alone far enough to see you pinning away in the corner.
Pick someone you have been friends for ages and who refers to you as a brother, pick someone who is so horny that he has lost the ability to think beyond momentary bodily satisfaction. Really… it could be anyone.
But.. remember, this has to be more than just a fleeting attraction.
Attraction isn’t merely what unrequited love is. Finding someone cute or letting your imagination run wild thinking about him or when he accidentally touches your skin or sips from the same coffee mug as you is not enough.
You must love him from every bone of your body, from every fiber of your being, if you have 100 thoughts running in your mind in a day, he must be 99 of them, you must think of him from the moment you wake up until the moment you fall asleep. You must find it hard not to think of him and every day should be a heartbreak for you as you imagine him being with his new love and that thought running riot in your head.
Your love for him should be so strong that you have memorized the rhythm of his voice, the subtle gesture of his hands and expression of his face. It should be so strong that when you fall asleep, you dream of a world where you see yourself together and that feels as real as can be and you feel your soul torn apart every morning when you wake up and realize that it was a dream. You get completely consumed by obsessing and agonizing. I do not know if there is anything that hurts more than this thought,,.
Pheww .. quite a lot to deal with ha?
Now the fun begins – I understand that it takes a lot of your time and energy but you will come to a breaking point when enough becomes enough. It could be the third month you cried yourself to sleep, the 10th time he canceled his plans for someone else or the 4th weekend in a row that you decided to get drunk alone to get over him. It can take weeks or even months but there is something that you will have once you get there.
You will come out much stronger, more certain of yourself. Now you will know that all pain is temporary and that that love cannot be how you want it to be, that it cannot be won, that you cannot steal it like a rare painting you see hanging in an abandoned mansion.
You will know that real love comes from within, that you have to wait. You will now know that what others said about love coming to you if its meant to be etc is so true. They all were telling you the truth but then its okay to choose to believe in what you want to believe in because at the end of the day you need to learn it for yourself.
Getting over an unrequited love actually feels like a blindfold removal. You suddenly see things clearly, you acknowledge your mistakes. You will start finding love in small things, you will be humbled grateful and wiser.
Now comes the best part. After you get over him, you will realize that you did not need anyone to heal your broken heart, you fixed it yourself, all on your own and now that you have proven to yourself that you can get over something like that all on your own then you won’t be afraid to go looking for love again.
And when you do that, there will come a time when you will find someone who will reciprocate every ounce of your unbridled affection. He will love you as much as you will love him. He will make you feel like a person you didn’t know lived inside you. He will bring out the most supreme feeling of ecstasy you can ever fathom.
I have learned it the hard way so now I allow myself the unrequited love. Hoping this time it will be different.
Well… we’ll see!
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